Calm down my child, you are doing okay
They say success is for leaders who thrive on challenges,
They say success is for innovators who build things out of pure vision, imagination and perseverance
They say success is for those who believe they can and try until they achieve.
Are they right or wrong? I don’t know. However, sometimes, it is just tiring to live upto this definitions. We do have outliers who thrive on luck but one of the three points always underlines that luck. I too am a believer of these statements. When working towards a goal you are tempted to be amped up, living and breathing these statements. The movies show the fired up protagonist charging up towards her/his goal with a background music crescendoing in their success. I hope someday they do show the tears, disappointments and fears the characters face everyday. Its not like when things start working, nothing breaks down, the moments of success are littered with pockets of disappointments and failures. And to top it all, the self doubts creep in to suck out any ounce of joy that comes along and I think that is the beauty of any journey.
When you are busy creating a spot for yourself in the world, you get overwhelmed by your reflection in others’ eyes, you start believing the characters they make you to be, “ an arrogant know it all, a rude woman, an emotional leader, an ungrateful child, a stubborn individual”, and many more. The colorful remarks on the different roles one plays, do take a toll. It throws one in the arms of a vicious circle of figuring out who is right and who is wrong? How much to trust and how much to let go? Which is the right perception? Sometimes, the comments do not align with how we feel, but what if we are being blind to any criticism? How does one find their own voice? How does one know the truth about themselves and carry on?
The answer unfortunately is not so straight forward. I think it comes from being okay with making mistakes and learning to forgive yourself once in a while. It comes from having a value system and staying true to it. What we are and how we see ourselves will constantly evolve and the evolution will be fueled by these comments. However, we also have to understand the fact that, we don’t evolve alone. The people making these remarks are also on the same path, whether we like it or not, change is inevitable. Sometimes, people throw their insecurities and shortcomings your way with their words. This doesn’t mean that one can shut him/herself to the criticism or just believe every comment and take every suggestion.
I think, maturity is when you arrive at a place where you can be open to take criticism with grace, filter the good ones and discard the bad based on your value system . Will that enable you to do the right thing all the time? Not at all but it will keep you sane enough to survive and grow. During difficult times, its important to remind ourselves, “You are doing okay and you will learn from this situation. This too shall pass”
While we try and imbibe the three statements leading to success, it is important to remember that we are humans who are vulnerable. It is important to remember that we need to make time to deal with our wounds while we are running towards our goal. This is the beauty of life and what life would it be anyway, if it did not have the blossoming garden of different emotions.
