Homecoming
I left home in 2008 to study and then took up jobs outside. Back then Nepal was a newly formed democracy, still trying to find its feet and working hard to form a constitution, still reeling from the after-effects of a violent decade that saw the gruesome murder of one royal family and the departure of another. It went from multi-party democracy to Panchayati Raj and then finally a full-fledged democracy. I was a part of the generation that grew up amidst the turmoil and chaos. A generation whose mindset, beliefs and values were being shaped along with the country. In this decade, I moved from being a child to a teenager, in this decade, I learned to live a life that was far from normal, and yet it was as normal as it could get.
Back then, the schools staying shut for months was normal, the fear of being a victim of a bomb blast seemed normal, seeing the fear in my mother’s eyes when my father didn’t reach home by 7, seemed normal. I still remember a conversation with my best friend, where she had casually mentioned that if a gunshot episode was to break out on the streets, I should not think twice before saving myself, and our sisters first. It seemed funny then, now imagining two 6th grade kids talk about it, seems heartbreaking. While you are in deep trouble, I don’t think the gravity of the situation hits you as much. It's only when you come out of it and think of it in retrospect, it seems terribly difficult. But come to think of it, I think this period taught me the power of hope and the will of living things to survive. Amidst all this chaos, I was fortunate to have been surrounded by the warmth of people who cared and a community that was always there to help. The experiences made me resilient and gave me the confidence that I can always find a way by continuing to work hard on things that are in my control. Later in life, I learned that it is the key to dealing with ambiguity. It has been of great help in both the personal and professional aspects of my life.
When the people had finally won their fight for democracy and the unrest came to an end, I was in the process of passing my 10th standard and it was time to leave Nepal for my higher education. While the country was finding its feet with new governments, I was trying to find my identity as an individual in a different country. After spending almost 15 years, studying, working outside with some brief “holiday travels” home, I have finally come back. I wish I had done this sooner, but it's better late than never :)
